What is your superpower?

In his newest book Linchpin - Are You Indispensible? marketer Seth Godin asks: What is your superpower? (He explains that your superpower is not your USP, it’s not your ’strength’ or your ‘core competence’, it’s that about you that tells me how you can help me - or how I can help you. It’s the unique talent that you choose to develop.)

In the lead up to International Women’s Day I was invited to speak to a group of young business people at CBS Interactive. So, I posed the “What’s your superpower?” question to them (along with letting them know that it was okay to NOT know what you want to be when you grow up - I’d left home at 17 and didn’t have a tertiary education but have worked long and hard to improve my skills, encouraged them to try lots of different things that interested them - telling them I assumed that they HAVE a rare gift, that if they chose to share would make them very happy and make a big contribution to others - and I invited them to dare to lead).

Something I said seemed to stick. I heard, from the lovely woman who coordinated my presentation, that over lunch that day, they talked about what they thought their super-powers are. That made my heart sing.

In Linchpin, Godin says:

“The ’super’ part and the ‘power’ part come note from something you’re born with, but from something you choose to do and, more important, from something you choose to give.”

Choose today.

Warmly,

Suzi

P.S. If you haven’t yet signed up to attend the free webinar with Seth Godin on 23 March at 12.00pm AEDT, here’s a link. I hope you’ll join me.

Do you speak English? Communication tips for business owners. (PART 1)

As any new migrant will tell you, the inability to communicate effectively can get in the way of opportunity. No matter how clever you are, communication attempts can be thwarted by the lack of skill to communicate well and get your message across.

Communication skills are  more important today than ever before.

And, communication barriers go beyond language barriers. Let’s assume you speak English well. You may not be the next best-selling author, or Tony Robbins, but you have a decent command of the English language. You’re good at what you do and you want to grow your business.

But, nobody’s listening, nobody’s buying.

What’s happening?

Do you speak English?

My mum arrived here from Greece aged 15. She spoke no English and, like many migrants new to a country, struggled for a long time to be understood.

Some migrants, like her, moved to neighbourhoods with like-speaking people, worked in factories where their native language was spoken, mingled only with others from their own culture. No doubt their progress with the English language was slow.

Mum wanted to learn the language of her new country - to be understood.  So, when my brothers and I were in school and she finally had some time to herself, she went off to English classes and while we kids would at times giggle at her attempts at words (English is a HARD language) she persisted. She wanted to be understood. I didn’t realise, at the time, the persistence this took.

Communication today

Doing business today requires you to be able to communicate better and differently than ever before.

Technology has given us many tools with which to communicate. But the tools themselves don’t make us good communicators. The mastery of one or many, could however make you a market leader.

Over the next few weeks I’ll post about the effective use of of my favourite communication tools for business.

Here’s my position on Communication:

Communication is a skill.

It can be learned, improved, mastered. By anyone. Yes, including you - regardless of your level of schooling.

Tools do not make you good.

Communication tools like blogs, podcasts, emails, newsletters, videos, webinars, seminars etc. are TOOLS. Their use, alone, does not make you a master of them.

In my opinion:

• A bad podcast COULD be worse for your business than no podcast.
• A bad webinar COULD be worse for your business and reputation than NO webinar.

The key to more effective communication is to take action AND to get education and improve your skills. For example:

• If you’re going to blog, get some basic training.
• If you’re going to podcast, then get some honest feedback on your voice and some voice training.
• If you’re going to do seminars, then please, please, get some presentation skills.

You get the picture?

The big opportunity

Those who commit to master of their communication will win the hearts and minds of their customers, staff, allies and community.

If you’re up for the ride, then let’s go.  Next week’s post: Basic Communication Tools to Grow Your Business

Cheers
Suzi

Five actions to help you (and your team) flourish

by Caroline McAuliffe, ExecConnect

This past week I proudly launched my new business, ExeConnect, and as a gift to the clients who attended the launch event, I presented a gift of wellbeing and happiness!  I had arranged for Clive Leach, our Associate Executive Coach at ExeConnect to give a presentation at the launch. Clive is an evidence-based executive coach and facilitator who works within the corporate sector and Australian Public Service. He is a master’s graduate of the University of Sydney Coaching Psychology Unit and a member of the International Coach Federation.

Clive informed us that research shows that despite huge increases in wealth, advances in health care and access to technology, western societies today are no happier than they were 50 years ago. This doesn’t mean everyone is miserable; but levels of life satisfaction and well-being have not improved, despite arguably higher standards of living. The reality is that levels of anxiety, stress, fear and depression are rising.

He explained that the causes for lack of wellbeing include the breakdown of family and community relationships, increased violence, crime, drug and alcohol use, and (perhaps the most insidious culprits of all) ‘afluenza’ and social comparison. Too many people believe that happiness can be found through their looks, clothes, iPods, mobile phones, trainers or cars. There’s a lack of realisation that once these things are attained, we all too quickly adapt to them and promptly become envious that others have something bigger, better or newer.

Like the wicked queen in Snow White, when we can only judge ourselves by what the external world (the mirror on the wall) thinks, we can never be truly happy.

So, enough of the bad news.What’s the good news?

Clive assured us all that the field of positive psychology provides a wealth of evidence that it is possible for us to increase levels of happiness and well-being and sets out a clear and applicable framework for living a life of pleasure, engagement and meaning.

We know that the most hopeful and optimistic people share three simple characteristics:

1. they have goals,
2. they have agency (self belief) in their ability to reach the goals and
3. they are able to identify a range of pathways or routes to success which helps them to persevere when faced with inevitable setbacks.

Five daily actions that will help you flourish

Clive went on to give us several examples of how we can begin to build our resilience, improve well-being and aim to be our best possible selves. In particular, I was fascinated by the research that was commissioned in 2008 by The New Economic Foundation, by the UK Government’s Foresight Project on Mental Capital and Well-being. The review was an inter-disciplinary work of over 400 scientists from across the world with an aim to identify a set of evidence-based actions to improve well-being, which individuals should be encouraged to build into their daily lives. Here is a brief description of those five actions and how you incorporate them into your daily life:

1. Connect

Connect with the people around you. With family, friends, colleagues and neighbours. At home, work, school or in your local community. Think of these as the corner of your life and invest time in developing them. Building these connections will support and enrich you every day.

Social relationships are critical to our well-being. Survey research has found that well-being is increased by life goals associated with family, friends, social and political life and decreased by goals associated with career success and material gains. Governments can shape policies in ways that encourage citizens to spend more time with families and friends and less time in the workplace. For example, employment policy that actively promotes flexible working and reduces the burdens of commuting, alongside policies aimed at strengthening local involvement, would enable people to spend more time at home and in their communities to build supportive and lasting relationships.

2. Be active

Go for a walk or a run. Step outside. Cycle. Play a game. Garden. Dance. Exercising makes you feel good. Most importantly, discover a physical activity you enjoy and one that suits your level of mobility and fitness.

Exercise has been shown to increase mood and has been used successfully to lower rates of depression and anxiety. Being active also develops the motor skills of children and protects against cognitive decline in the elderly. Yet for the first time in history more of the world’s population live in urban than non-urban environments. Through urban design and transport policy, governments influence the way we navigate through our neighbourhoods and towns. To improve our well-being, policies could support more green space to encourage exercise and play and prioritise cycling and walking over car use.

3. Take notice

Be curious. Catch sight of the beautiful. Remark on the usual. Notice the changing seasons. Savour the moment, whether you are walking to work, eating lunch or talking to friends. Be aware of the world around you and what you are feeling. Reflecting on your experiences will help you appreciate what matters to you.

In the US, research has shown that practising awareness of sensations, thoughts and feelings can improve both the knowledge we have about ourselves and our well-being for several years. But the twenty-first century’s never-ending flow of messages from companies advertising products and services leaves little opportunity to savour or reflect on our experiences. Policy that incorporates emotional awareness training and media education into universal education provision may better equip individuals to navigate their way through the information super-highway with their well-being intact; regulation to create advertising-free spaces could further improve well-being outcomes.

4. Keep learning

Try something new. Rediscover an old interest. Sign up for that course. Take on a different responsibility at work. Fix a bike. Learn to play an instrument or how to cook your favourite food. Set a challenge you will enjoy achieving. Learning new things will make you more confident as well as being fun.

Learning encourages social interaction and increases self-esteem and feelings of competency. Behaviour directed by personal goals to achieve something new has been shown to increase reported life satisfaction. While there is often a much greater policy emphasis on learning in the early years of life, psychological research suggests it is a critical aspect of day-to-day living for all age groups. Therefore, policies that encourage learning, even in the elderly, will enable individuals to develop new skills, strengthen social networks and feel more able to deal with life’s challenges.

5. Give

Do something nice for a friend, or a stranger. Thank someone. Smile. Volunteer your time. Join a community group. Look out, as well as in. Seeing yourself, and your happiness, linked to the wider community can be incredibly rewarding and creates connections with the people around you.

Studies in neuroscience have shown that cooperative behaviour activates reward areas of the brain, suggesting we are hard wired to enjoy helping one another. Individuals actively engaged in their communities report higher well-being and their help and gestures have knock-on effects for others. But it is not simply about a one-way transaction of giving. Research shows that building reciprocity and mutual exchange – through giving and receiving – is the simplest and most fundamental way of building trust between people and creating positive social relationships and resilient communities. Governments can choose to invest more in ‘the core economy’: the family, neighbourhood and community which, together, act as the operating system of society. Policies that provide accessible, enjoyable and rewarding ways of participation and exchange will enable more individuals to take part in social and political life.

BONUS: Get a coach!

Finally, one more way to learn about and understand how you can use your strengths and inner resources and to achieve a life of purpose, satisfaction and achievement is by attending an Evidence-based intervention, such as a workshop or one-on-one coaching. Outcomes of research studies have shown that coaching can result in significant increases in levels of well-being, resilience, hope and goal attainment in people. Exploring such findings might add value for your own life as well as the lives of your friends, family and colleagues and result in flourishing people.

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Caroline McAuliffe - ExeConnect and Virtual Angels Caroline is currently founder and director of ExeConnect, a boutique firm specialising in assisting organisations to identify, develop and retain executive and senior management talent. Caroline is also, the founder and director of niche employment firm, Virtual Angels, specialising in the provision of virtual, part-time and permanent business support resources provided to SME clients using a flexible, economical and efficient “Pay as You Grow” model. Phone: 0415 623 122 Email: caroline@execonnect.com.au caroline@virtualangels.com.au Twitter: www.twitter.com/ExeConnectAu Blog: virtualangelsau.blogspot.com www.execonnect.com.au/blog LinkedIn: au.linkedin.com/in/carolinemcauliffe Member Profile: See Caroline’s Member Profile

2010 will be a Very, Very Good Year for Entrepreneurs

By Yvette Vignando, www.happychild.com.au

I have good news for me and for you. Phil Ruthven who has spent decades charting the growth and change in Australian business says that 2010 is going to be a “very, very good year for entrepreneurs, no question.” Fantastic!

2010 is the year that I’m launching my online business www.happychild.com.au, a website for parents about raising children with emotional intelligence. I’m excited, a little apprehensive, impatient to get started, mad keen to succeed and loving all the learning and challenge that comes with starting a new business.

In each blog post, I’ll share with you information, tips, books and websites that are helping me on my entrepreneur’s journey. Please do the same; I’d love to hear your ideas too. ABN Startup and Growth Members: I bet you’ve got so much to share and the ABN is a wonderful supportive community in which to do this.

2010 is going to be a “very, very good year for entrepreneurs, no question.”

Surround Yourself with Honest Believers
As I’ve had a few hiccups along the way, including a website that never got launched, I’ve found it’s crucial to be surrounded by people who believe in me and my business idea. Even though I’m convinced that my business will be fabulous, it’s so valuable to have the constant encouragement and feedback of friends, family and mentors to keep me going when things inevitably go wrong. These ‘believers’ as I call them, have been honest and generous in also pointing out where I may need to rethink my plans, and have helped me solve numerous challenges over the past year. An example of a great source of this support has been my pod member from MentorNet, Alycia Edgar. Make time for lunches, coffees and phone calls with your ‘believers’, and don’t forget to let them know how important they are to your success.

Read Widely
If you’re like me, you love good books about developing your business and books that inspire you to keep working towards your goals. There are so many great books; here are three I’ve been reading lately:

1. Crush It by Gary Vaynerchuk - about building your personal brand, and in particular doing it using social media. It’s a high energy book, informative, engaging and motivating.
2. You Tube for Business by Michael Miller - plenty of practical detail about how to leverage online video to market your business.
3. Getting Things Done by David Allen - systems to use if you want to be more organised and more productive in your day and in your office.

And just a reminder, Phil Ruthven from IBIS World says “the conditions are never going to be better… if you wanted to start a business from scratch” - I’m definitely a believer in that!

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Yvette Vignando - www.happychild.com.au Yvette is pursuing her passion - to take action that helps children develop great social and emotional skills as a foundation for a happy and successful life. Formerly a lawyer and then successful executive coach specialising in Emotional Intelligence, Yvette was encouraged by her experience of MentorNet to launch her business - a website for parents that publishes practical and engaging information about raising children with emotional intelligence. Yvette looks forward to sharing the challenges and successes of her experience as she navigates her way through the adventures of launching a website, and tackles online sales and marketing, an evolving business plan, and the growing universe of social media. Yvette hopes that by following her personal and professional development as an entrepreneur you will also be inspired to follow your passions. Phone: 02 9889 0999 Email: yvette@happychild.com.au Website: www.happychild.com.au Twitter: www.twitter.com/yvettevignando LinkedIn: View her Public Profile Member Profile: See Yvette’s Member Profile

Let your passion drive your actions this year

How do you bring your passion to work, and keep it there? We spend a lot of time in our businesses. For many it’s our primary focus. But what do you do when the passion leaves? How do you bring your passion to your work and keep it there? Janet Bray Attwood, author of The New York Times bestseller - the Passion Test shares strategies in this interview.

I read Janet’s book - The Passion Test - two years ago and the ‘test’ is a way to keep me on track with keeping passion in my business and my life. It’s a simple but powerful process that you can use to ensure that your actions are driven by your passion and that you make each day alive with what you love.

In this interview we discuss:

- Why clarity about your passion helps you create exactly what you want
- The role of passion in team engagement
- Why connection to your passion is an important ingredient to business and personal success

Enjoy this interview with Janet Attwood.

Join the Australian Businesswomen’s Network community to get monthly podcasts with inspiring businesswomen.

What are you most proud of having achieved this year?

Last night a group of ABN members gathered to network and to hear a presentation about the business trends for the new year.

Before the inspiring presentation by JV Douglas of BRW Magazine we each shared our greatest achievement and one main goal for the new year with others in the group.

This simple but powerful process of, one by one, sharing with others what it is that we can pat ourselves on the back for helped us ground what it is that we’ve been working so hard on this year.

Some of the business goals achieved included: Starting a business, growing a business, selling a business, learning to use social media, doing the Australian Businesswomen’s Network’s MentorNet mentoring program and, as a result, solidifying a vision and plan for their business.

On a personal level we had women who’d run 20km, climbed Michu Picchu, and started a family.  Each person’s story was, in itself, inspiring and worth celebrating.

The goals members have for 2009 are equally inspiring and include personal goals (to do a half marathon, to take a long-overdue vacation to Europe) and business goals such as starting a new venture, getting out of the day-to-day of the business and forming a new partnership.

I shared this achievement and goal for 2010:

One Achievement for 2009

This year I immersed myself in learning to better use social media. I attended programs, listened to podcasts, read books, listed to ebooks. Then I blogged, podcast(ed), Tweeted, presented a number of webinars, loaded photos to Flickr, integrated my online profiles, established a Facebook page for the Australian Businesswomen’s Network and created two e-Courses (30 Days of Social Media and 30 Days of Networking).

I’m still very much the student… but I implemented a lot of what I learned about the powerful technology tools available to me.

One Goal for 2010

This one is personal. I want to run another half marathon. (I did one in 2008 and one this year.) Next year, thoug,h I’d like to do it in under 2hours, which for me, will be quite a stretch. I’m not a fast runner (more like a little Energizer bunny that just keeps on keeping on). So… training for that goal will need to start soon (but not too soon….. No doubt after some December/January indulgence).

A TASK… IF YOU’RE WILLING

So, my question to you is:

What is it that you’re proudest of? What is it that you would like to acknowledge yourself for achieving?

And, what is one goal that you have for the new year?

Share with friends, colleagues, or share right here by adding a comment. I’d love to hear from you.

Best wishes,

Suzi

PS Next week I’m going to give you a great tool that the ABN Advisory Board is using to get focused for 2010. I think you’ll also find it useful for your business.

Business lessons we can learn from elephants

Last Friday ANZ held a Women in Business event at Taronga Zoo. The breakfast networking event was held at the Wild Asia Exhibit, the home of Luk Chai, the first Asian elephant calf to be born at Taronga Zoo.

The networking event (attended by local businesswomen and guests) was part of ANZ’s Be Money Confident initiative for women.

Be Money Confident ambassador, Antonia Kidman, gave a speech about business lessons we can learn from elephants.

The lessons, while light-hearted, held many truths and resonated with me.

These same lessons (and the recommendations that Antonia provided) are also very aligned with the work that we do at the Australian Businesswomen’s Network to support women.

Lessons we can learn from elephants

The elephant’s gestational period is 22 months, the longest of any land animal.	Lesson: It can take time for good ideas to gestate. Slow and steady is not necessarily a bad thing. It’s important to take the time to properly plan, since many new start-ups can fail simply because they haven’t done their homework first.
Elephants are born with fewer survival instincts than many other animals. Instead, they must rely on their elders to teach them the things they need to know.	Lesson: Finding a good mentor with experience is critical. Being willing to accept their help, particularly in the formative stages can enhance your business’s success. It also provides a way to learn business skills as your business expands. Seek out advice from an accountant, financial specialist or take advantage of mentoring programmes.
Elephants are a symbol of wisdom in Asian cultures and are famed for their memory and intelligence.	Lesson: Respect can take time to earn. Women tend to be less adept at self-promotion. In other words, we are not quick to tell other people about our achievements and successes and this has wider knock-on effects. Successful businesswomen should be celebrated and more widely promoted, not only to inspire other women, but also to encourage the business community to consider the huge potential that exists in female-run businesses.
An elephant’s skin is extremely tough and measures about an inch thick. But although tough, it is very sensitive.	Lesson: Develop your own thick skin. For many of us, criticism can be hard to bear. Whether it’s peer response, a tough economic environment or one too many rejections, every business faces situations which make it easy to think about giving in. But by learning to view these situations objectively and figuring out what you need to learn from the experience you stand a better chance of weathering the storm. And at the same time, relish your ability to show sensitivity and empathy, which can be used to your advantage.
Healthy adult elephants have no natural predators, although lions may take calves or weak individuals.	Lesson: A healthy business is the best defense. This starts with proper business planning, including a focus on cash flow. Many businesses – particularly those in the service-based sectors suffer sever paeaks and troughs in revenue. Make sure you really understand the financial demands and costs of your business.
Elephants have the ability to use their trunks like snorkels for breathing and are known to swim like that for up to 6 hours and 50km.	Lesson: Use what you’ve got! Our skills at multi-tasking and organisation can make us great entrepreneurs. Have self-belief and be prepared to recognize your success.
The elephant’s trunk may have over forty thousand individual muscles in it, making it sensitive enough to pick up a single blade of grass, yet strong enough to rip the branches off a tree.	Lesson: Know how and when to use your strength. A factor that links many successful businesswomen is their determination to succeed. Often this manifests itself in competing just a little bit harder, and being prepared to make tough decisions when the situation requires it. While having clear goals and aspirations is important, real success requires self-confidence and courage.
Elephants display a wide variety of behaviours including those associated with music, art, altruism, play, use of tools, compassion and self awareness.	Lesson: A work/life balance is important. While it can be tempting to devote ourselves to our business, this can at times come at the expense of our families or ourselves. Women are very good at feeling terribly guilty when we take time out. However, this is so important! There is no doubt taking time out of your business can be hard to do if you don’t have the support system in place with good employees, friends or family. But when we do, the benefits are rewarding. Not only do you feel more refreshed, making you a better wife, partner, mother or friend, but it helps to centre you around what is important, providing the ability to look at your business with fresh eyes.
Elephants can communicate over long distances by producing and receiving a sub-sonic rumbling, which can travel in the air and through the ground much further than higher frequencies.	Lesson: Take advantage of the communication tools at your disposal. Modern communication like the internet can help keep networking connections strong, through use of email, blogs, and social networking tools. It can provide links to like-minded, experienced business owners through mentoring programs. There are great resources available online to assist in bringing a business idea to life, or helping to broaden and grow your business skills and best of all most are free.
Elephants live in a structured social order. Females spend their entire lives in tightly knit groups made up of mothers, daughters, sisters, and aunts. These groups are led by the eldest female, or matriarch.	Lesson: As women we need to stand together and learn from each other’s skills, strength and experience Make an effort to find people who share common interests and a sense of community. Local business associations and local council networking groups offer the chance to meet other women – and gives you the chance to support and learn from each other’s experience and skills
And finally: When a group gets too big, a few of the elder daughters will break off and form their own small group.	Lesson: Women can be the driving force to create new enterprises, and explore new opportunities. Research from the UK suggests that women are more likely to be more innovative than men in their approach to business development and new ideas, which can only benefit the business community. If you have a good idea, a plan for success and the resources to strike out, then have the confidence to be entrepreneurial.

You can learn more about ANZ’s Be Money Confident initiative here. You’ll find interesting articles and resources as well as budget calculators.

Are you creating results or just trying to?

Recently I took part in a four-week challenge put on by the gym I go to. For four weeks I had (with recommendations and guidelines from the trainers) determined what I would do for four weeks to challenge myself for the purpose of being fitter/healthier at the end of the 4-week intensive.

I could make the rules as tight or as loose as I liked, with the awareness that the decisions I made would influence my results.

I don’t like a lot of rules… and so I let myself believe that I didn’t have to give up coffee and wine (which I don’t intend to in the long run) but that I would avoid them… I decided that I would give up sugar and grains.

Now.. I know myself well enough to know that ruling something out totally means 100% commitment but ‘avoiding’ gives me loopholes through with to slide and make excuses.  It’s the difference between DOING SOMETHING and TRYING to DO SOMETHING. It’s the difference between GETTING RESULTS and TRYING TO GET RESULTS.

Have you said to yourself:

“I will try and work on my business 3 times a week for one hour at a time.”?

versus committing 100% and saying:

“I will work ON my business plan 3 times a week for one hour at a time.”?

I have!

You can, as a result, get to the end of the week and have accomplished either!

“Well, I tried… but other things came up..”

OR

“I worked on my business for three hours this week.”

We have enough pressure on us as business people without needing to punish ourselves for not doing what we set out to, but I know from my  own example that I did what I said I’d do….

• I avoided drinking
• I avoided going to bed too late

• I didn’t eat sugar
• I didn’t eat grains

and so I can honestly say I did these things. I kept my word to myself, both ways.

I just know that not committing to something 100% could be a clue as to why I may not be performing to my peak in other areas of my life or business.

So, I’m now reflecting on ….

• What am I 100% committed to doing?
• What am I only willing to half-commit to?

It doesn’t matter to me which one I’m choosing as long as I’m doing it consciously and not fooling myself.

Suzi

PS In case you’re interested… here is what I did do on the 4-week Intensive:

I chose to:

• Cut alcohol down to four glasses of wine a week
• Reduce my milky coffee intake from 2 x soy flat white coffees a day to 1 x ‘milky’ coffee and if I had a 2nd it would be a macchiato
• No sugar (including honey) except from fruit
• No grains (except oats)
• Only fruit allowed was pear, apple, blueberries, strawberries and kiwi (but only 2 pieces max per day
• Eating 5 small meals a day (and managing my portions each time)
• Working out 5 times a week
• Limit dairy to cottage cheese and yoghurt
• Avoid red meat and eating more fish
• Get to bed by 10pm and try and get at least 7 hours of sleep
• Take my vitamins/supplements daily

My Goals were to:

• reduce body fat %
• lose 2kg
• get stronger
• ween myself off the daily sugar treats (usually a piece or two of chocolate at dinner)
• drink less alcohol

My results were:

• The first week I suffered. I felt very tired from the lack of sugar. By week three I was more energetic than usual (and those of you who know me know that I already have lots of energy).
• My jeans started to feel loose around the waistline by week 3.
• My running speed seemed to improve by week four - to the tune of running on average 0.5km an hour faster.

I had my measurements on Monday and the results were better than I’d hoped… much better.

What I don’t know is how much better they would have been had I totally cut out alcohol and the milky soy coffees. Truth is, I don’t intend to cut them out forever… so I didn’t want to set myself up for a regime that I’d not be willing to stick to for 70-80% of the time.

Is your resistance getting in the way of your progress?

Earlier this week I had an opportunity to watch my behaviour and my ability to get in my own way.

It was one of those times when you watch yourself, hear yourself and have enough awareness to realise what’s happening.. but do not necessarily have the ability to stop yourself.

Let me explain…

On Tuesday I had a personal training session with the owner of the gym I go to. I was running early so decided to go for a 30minute run before the workout. This was a BAAAD idea.

When I returned from the run and read the workout he had planned for me my heart dropped. I had just spent 30-mins running, I was tired, and this workout sounded horrific… long, tough, and I knew it would push me beyond where I wanted to be pushed.

I made these decisions before I even started the workout:

1. I was not going to have fun
2. I would ‘do my best’ (which in this instance meant I’d just get through it)
3. If I was struggling enough (or taking too long) maybe he’d let reduce the number of rounds or reduce the difficulty level

I was going to resist… and fight.

And here’s what happened.

Within a few minutes of the workout I was feeling tired and wishing I didn’t have to be there.Very intuitively my trainer said to me: “Know that I’m not going to let you not finish this.”

Darn! Now I was stuck.

So… I very cleverly (or so I thought) developed these symptoms:

• Cramps - First my right calf screamed in pain so much I had to stop what I was doing and get my leg stretched to reduce the pain. Then, both legs cramped. Now I had to stop for a couple of min to recover. (The embarrassment of being THAT person in the gym that was needing help didn’t matter. What mattered more was that I was getting my way… in a stupid self-destructive way).

• Mind chatter - My mind chatter was loud and clear: “This is stupid” “This is hard” “I don’t want to do this”.

• Incompetence - I couldn’t perform these exercises (though I’d done them before) with any level of skill

• Injury - I managed to split my hand doing pullups (but I had only completed 1.5 rounds of pullups and had to do the other 1.5 rounds with a cut hand)

At one point (between gasps for air) the LIGHT BULB went off. I could now see what I was doing.

I was resisting what I had started out to do!

My goal, of course, was to enjoy working out with a professional who was supporting me to do what I had set out to do - to exercise to improve my performance, to work myself hard.

My resistance was getting in the way! As soon as I realised it I decided I needed to stop what I was doing (self-destructing) and decide what to do next.

I decided I wasn’t going home until I finished the workout and to ’suck it up’ and keep going.

I finished the workout (yes, my time was terrible but I finished)…

Here was my lesson:

No.. it wasn’t that I shouldn’t go to the gym. ;-) The lesson was that I had made a decision: Go to gym and do workout. But… I was resisting rather than staying with the commitment I’d made and really doing what it took to complete the job as successfully as I possibly could.

RESISTANCE IN YOUR BUSINESS - IS IT COSTING YOUR YOUR SUCCESS?

Here’s what resistance looks like in business:

• Quitting - Pretending you didn’t really want something
• Manifestations - e.g. problems, staff issues, mistakes made that could have been foreseen
• Going off course - spending time on busyness rather than business
• Physical pain/illness - getting sick by working yourself too hard/ignoring your body’s needs
• Resignation - Giving up (sometimes that comes with pretending you didn’t want something)

And here are some remedies for self-destructive resistance:

• Take action - taking action (any one small action) closer to the goal can lift your mood and give you a sense of accomplishment if you recognise that you HAVE taken a s
• Get support - A coach that won’t let you give up, a peer support group who will share your goals with you and keep you accountable. And, trust those you’ve entrusted to support you.
• Keep Your Word - If you make a deal with yourself, keep it. Stay committed until the end.
• Go with the flow - Resistance will show it’s face - but don’t harm yourself (physically, emotionally, spiritually) in the process of resisting

Three days later the calf that was cramping is still sore… and I’m sure that’s because I need to get this lesson and to be reminded of it. I’m sure the pain will be gone by tomorrow. It had just been hanging around till I wrote this post to share the lesson.

Cheers

Suzi

P.S. If anything in this post resonates with you, let me know by adding a comment.

P.P.S. @blairsinger shared on twitter this week “You have the ability to override your brain’s negative dialogue that distracts you from your pursuits”.  LVM, pg 154 - http://bit.ly/iGekM

FYI - Here’s the workout:

3 rounds of:

• 500m row
• 45 wall ball (6kg)
• 15 pullups

I’m having a “100″ experience

One of the speakers I had the great pleasure of working with when I owned Pow Wow Events was Dr Fred Grosse. “Dr Fred” as he’s most often called “… provides the strategies that have assisted super-achievers to achieve a further level of results even they have found elusive, and to realise more goals and dreams.

Dr Grosse is a business psychotherapist, corporate consultant and systems designer, personal coach, mentor and trainer, now in his 30th year of sharing his business techniques.”

Dr Fred introduced me to the idea of experiences that were 100s. 100s are the golden moments when we feel most alive, most in love with life and most at ease with life.

Here are a couple of personal examples:

A good cup of coffee (most likely from Book Kitchen in Surry Hills - a 10
A good cup of coffee, reading the paper and looking at the ocean - a 50
A good cup of coffee in Venice, Italy - a 100

A run around my neighbourhood - a 10
A run across the Harbour Bridge and through the Botanic Gardens in Sydney - a 50
A run in Central Park in New York City - a 100

You probably get it. I like New York City, and Iike to travel. It’s when I feel very whole and happy.

I am writing this post just back from a run in Central Park - one of my “100″ type of experiences.

So, I’m pretty happy! 10s, 50s and 100s have that effect on my soul.

But, my happiness is not the point. The point is: It’s important to have more 10s, 50s and 100s in our day and your life. You deserve it, but often we don’t plan for it.

The best experiences don’t have to cost much. They just need to be things that you love.

• What are your 100s?
• When are you planning for the next 10, 50 or 100 experience?

I’d love to know.

Suzi

PS Dr Fred doesn’t teach much these days. When he does, it’s usually to a small group of highly-motivated individuals. You can learn more about him, and his products here.

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